Make Room for Growth
Quite often as a Psychologist I have clients sit in front of me and ask essentially, “What do I add to my very full plate to relieve my very full plate?”. I’m paraphrasing, of course, but that’s the gist of it. I get it, I also have three young kids, partner, basketball, demanding large extended family, chooks, community involvement, and many things that I have on my list that I would like to get to. I empathise deeply and at times have to catch myself from falling into the same helplessness that brings people to sit on my therapy couch.
The analogy that comes to my mind now when people share this, perhaps because I am now 6 years into living back in the country is of nature, is of plants and trees. Stay with me now, we watch the cycles of nature where trees shed leaves and then bloom again in the spring. The shedding of leaves also happens when there is not enough ‘resource’, as in water and sunlight. Trees need both to grow, turning those things into energy to sustain the growth. When there is not enough resource, the tree rids itself of the leaves and preserves itself waiting for more resource before it grows again. No apologies, no guilt. Bliss!
As humans in the 21st century, struggle with the idea of letting go, because that’s what we need to do with the full plate, wade through it and shed some things. Clients often look at me with a mix of dread and disbelief because at one time, each of those things on the plate served us well, had a purpose or even helped us survive. Us humans after all are a smart lot, and we don’t do somethin’ for nothin’.
After the shock of my suggestion wears off, the next question comes, “so what do I let go of"?’
This is where the fun begins, project ruthless elimination begins! If things are a PAIN or a DRAIN, we need to let it go. We need to pay attention to where our energy goes. That might be a commitment, friendship, way of thinking, ongoing favour, donation to charity, the list goes on. This need not be dispassionate, remember these things once served us well, after all and we can acknowledge that with humility.
We are allowed to take things off the full plate, thank it for the time together and move on. It gives us the chance to select things on the plate more carefully without crumbling under its weight. That’s what we are here for, to help you with the regeneration and growth of your next phase.
